Monday, September 7, 2009
Great moments in gym manliness #7
There was a weight pin stuck in the stack on the leg sled machine. Being a good follower of rules ("Do not attempt to remove a stuck pin yourself, let gym personnel know") and not wanting to pull the pin out and have to deal with the whole fiasco if I ended up breaking anything by not following the rules, I alerted Rhonda - a young lady who lives in our complex and works at our gym - as she walked by. She gave it a little tug. Then she put her sleeve over her hand, tugged a little bit again, pulled out the pin, and handed it to me. As she walked away, I mumbled something along the lines of, "I wasn't sure how hard I should . . . " as I trailed off.
Great moments in gym manliness #6
I was using the curling machine at the gym. I had just upped the weight and I was really giving it my all, sweating and possibly a little grunting, to finish my set. I stand up. Some guy sits down behind me and knocks out 15 reps with one arm.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
It really isn't OK
On Monday, I went to an Aces game with my dad. Those of you that have befriended me in real life and my virtual life on Facebook or Twitter may remember that I tweeted about the people in front of us that could not sit down. In one of the instances, a little boy ended up hitting a lady in front of him as he was walking around. The mother quickly corrected him talking about why he should sit down and what she told him before they left, etc. You've heard the speech, I'm sure. And can you guess the response of the lady who the kid hit?
Exactly. She turned around and said, "Oh, it's OK."
Why is this the typical response from most people in this situation? It's bad enough that people feel like it's acceptable or appropriate to undermine a parent by saying anything to someone else's kids during or about discipline. But even if you are a complete douche bag with a superiority complex that is convinced that you know more about raising someone else's children than they do, there is one more thing . . . it is not OK. It's not OK at all to walk around during a baseball game and bump into people around you. If an adult were to do that, there would eventually be a fight. How in the hell do all these "Oh, it's OK" people expect kids to learn how not to be beligerent idiots when they grow up if we constantly tell them everything is OK when they're little?
Exactly. She turned around and said, "Oh, it's OK."
Why is this the typical response from most people in this situation? It's bad enough that people feel like it's acceptable or appropriate to undermine a parent by saying anything to someone else's kids during or about discipline. But even if you are a complete douche bag with a superiority complex that is convinced that you know more about raising someone else's children than they do, there is one more thing . . . it is not OK. It's not OK at all to walk around during a baseball game and bump into people around you. If an adult were to do that, there would eventually be a fight. How in the hell do all these "Oh, it's OK" people expect kids to learn how not to be beligerent idiots when they grow up if we constantly tell them everything is OK when they're little?
Monday, August 3, 2009
How to get rich slowly tip #24: 2 (or more) for 1 movies
Every time I go to the movies with Layla, bad things happen; power goes out, movies start with no sound, the wrong movie comes on, etc. Last week was no exception.
We are already running late, about 11:10 for an 11:05 showing, and as soon as I tell the girl behind the glass what I would like to see, the printer at her station - the only station open - stops working. She asks an overweight, unhappy woman in the booth with her for help. This woman is apparently a manager because she is way too old to be working in a movie theater and isn't wearing a bow tie or vest. The woman gets on the phone to someone and has a very brief, unpleasant coversation before she slams down the phone and begins physically abusing the ticket printer below the counter. During this somewhat amusing occurence, the original ticket girl has opened the computer next door, confirms we want to see the Orphan, and promptly prints us Transformer 2 tickets.
I figure it's no big deal. I am confident in my ability to read the large LED display that shows in what theater the movie I actually want to see is showing, so I just ignore the instructions of the guy who rips our tickets and we go to the theater. As we go in it is completely empty, which is cool, and the lights are on and there is nothing showing on the screen at all, which is not cool at all considering we are about 10 minutes past show time by now. I give Layla the "what-did-you-do-now" look, then we walk out and find the manger walking around looking all surly and unapproachable, quite possible attempting to look busy a la George Costanza. (video included for those who need a reminder)
I first explain to the lady that I have the wrong tickets. "Well just go the theater that it's in, it's not big deal," she says as she starts to walk away. I inform her that I did manage to get that far on my own, but I don't understand why the movie hasn't started yet. She huffs and puffs her way over to the computer where you pay for snacks and inform me that the movie doesn't start until 12:50. (It may seem as though I read the listings wrong at fandango.com since the 11:05 showing is at a different multiplex location, but Layla probably made the listings wrong the same way she breaks power lines, projectors, and ticket printers.) As the manager tries once again to escape the wily grasp of a customer actually attempting to get customer service from her, I inconsiderately ask if I can get new tickets for the movie I actually paid to see so that we can come back in an hour and a half when the movie is going to start. She made weird sounds akin to a 14 year-old girl that has just been asked to work on her homework/give me the cell phone she was just texting on in class as she breaks out a pen and alters our tickets. I ask if this is good enough to get us back in, to which she rolls her eyes and informs me that this is exactly what she would do at the box office as well. I thank her, perhaps with a hint of sarcasm, for her time and leave with this (remember that it is also ripped- that's right, no initials or anything):
Upon returning, I expected to have to explain to the usher that his fat, misanthropic manager did this, but as I started this explanation he was already telling me to go on and was completely uninterested in my attempts to enter the theater with already used tickets on which all pertinent information has been crossed off and changed. This is the part where I'd explain what this has to do with the title of my post, but you're all smart people. Save your ticket stubs.
We are already running late, about 11:10 for an 11:05 showing, and as soon as I tell the girl behind the glass what I would like to see, the printer at her station - the only station open - stops working. She asks an overweight, unhappy woman in the booth with her for help. This woman is apparently a manager because she is way too old to be working in a movie theater and isn't wearing a bow tie or vest. The woman gets on the phone to someone and has a very brief, unpleasant coversation before she slams down the phone and begins physically abusing the ticket printer below the counter. During this somewhat amusing occurence, the original ticket girl has opened the computer next door, confirms we want to see the Orphan, and promptly prints us Transformer 2 tickets.
I figure it's no big deal. I am confident in my ability to read the large LED display that shows in what theater the movie I actually want to see is showing, so I just ignore the instructions of the guy who rips our tickets and we go to the theater. As we go in it is completely empty, which is cool, and the lights are on and there is nothing showing on the screen at all, which is not cool at all considering we are about 10 minutes past show time by now. I give Layla the "what-did-you-do-now" look, then we walk out and find the manger walking around looking all surly and unapproachable, quite possible attempting to look busy a la George Costanza. (video included for those who need a reminder)
I first explain to the lady that I have the wrong tickets. "Well just go the theater that it's in, it's not big deal," she says as she starts to walk away. I inform her that I did manage to get that far on my own, but I don't understand why the movie hasn't started yet. She huffs and puffs her way over to the computer where you pay for snacks and inform me that the movie doesn't start until 12:50. (It may seem as though I read the listings wrong at fandango.com since the 11:05 showing is at a different multiplex location, but Layla probably made the listings wrong the same way she breaks power lines, projectors, and ticket printers.) As the manager tries once again to escape the wily grasp of a customer actually attempting to get customer service from her, I inconsiderately ask if I can get new tickets for the movie I actually paid to see so that we can come back in an hour and a half when the movie is going to start. She made weird sounds akin to a 14 year-old girl that has just been asked to work on her homework/give me the cell phone she was just texting on in class as she breaks out a pen and alters our tickets. I ask if this is good enough to get us back in, to which she rolls her eyes and informs me that this is exactly what she would do at the box office as well. I thank her, perhaps with a hint of sarcasm, for her time and leave with this (remember that it is also ripped- that's right, no initials or anything):
Upon returning, I expected to have to explain to the usher that his fat, misanthropic manager did this, but as I started this explanation he was already telling me to go on and was completely uninterested in my attempts to enter the theater with already used tickets on which all pertinent information has been crossed off and changed. This is the part where I'd explain what this has to do with the title of my post, but you're all smart people. Save your ticket stubs.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Poo story
I have a story about the last day of our return from the family vacation (last Friday).
WARNING: Contents of this post are scatological in nature. Be advised before proceeding.
On this day, my intake consisted of:
1) one reasonable helping of not especially great biscuits and fravy with 3 link sausages from the free breakfast at the Country Inn and Suites in Bountiful, Utah.
2) Coffee and OJ from previously mentioned breakfast.
3) Sunflower seeds (Spitz spicy) - about 1/3 of a bag - enough to fill a standard styrofoam coffee cup with shells
4) Naked wild berry juice
5) three cold slice of leftover Little Cesar's supreme pizza
6) McDonald's double cheeseburger
7) medium Hi-C fruit punch from McDonald's fountain
8) most of the McDonald's iced mocha that my wife didn't like
When I came home I shat not especially solid and ridiculously green. It was bizarre because I had no idea why it was green. Really weird. It was a bit scary, but my excrement has returned to a more expected color over the past 3 days, but a tad bothersome anyhow -- it's not like I ate a whole container of spinach dip or something.
WARNING: Contents of this post are scatological in nature. Be advised before proceeding.
On this day, my intake consisted of:
1) one reasonable helping of not especially great biscuits and fravy with 3 link sausages from the free breakfast at the Country Inn and Suites in Bountiful, Utah.
2) Coffee and OJ from previously mentioned breakfast.
3) Sunflower seeds (Spitz spicy) - about 1/3 of a bag - enough to fill a standard styrofoam coffee cup with shells
4) Naked wild berry juice
5) three cold slice of leftover Little Cesar's supreme pizza
6) McDonald's double cheeseburger
7) medium Hi-C fruit punch from McDonald's fountain
8) most of the McDonald's iced mocha that my wife didn't like
When I came home I shat not especially solid and ridiculously green. It was bizarre because I had no idea why it was green. Really weird. It was a bit scary, but my excrement has returned to a more expected color over the past 3 days, but a tad bothersome anyhow -- it's not like I ate a whole container of spinach dip or something.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Kobe and MJ
No - this isn't a reprise of the stupid Jordan argument, this is about something much less pleasant to think about -- yet somehow no less enjoyable to argue about somehow. Following are some key statistics to, arguably, the three biggest cases of accusations of sexual assault in my short time on this planet. Feel free to read the details again if, for some reason, you were living under a rock in 1992, 1993, or 2005 (the "golden year" of celebrity sexual assualt accusations).
Please read, respond to the poll. Most of you probably know my take on these, but I'm interested to find out if I am truly in the minority or if the minority is just more vocal. Probably won't get much participation, but it's worth a shot.
Michael Jackson
1993 - allegations were made by family of Evan Chandler. No incriminating evidence was found and charges were never filed. Jackson settled a civil suit out of court paying the family $20+ million.
2005 - Michael Jackson was acquitted of all charges brought against him by the Santa Barbara Sheriff's Department.
source
Kobe Bryant
Accused of rape in 2005. Accuser settled civil suit out of court for undisclosed terms and refused to testify in criminal case.
source
Mike Tyson
Convicted of rape in 1992. No monetary payment that I am aware of.
source, interesting reading
Please read, respond to the poll. Most of you probably know my take on these, but I'm interested to find out if I am truly in the minority or if the minority is just more vocal. Probably won't get much participation, but it's worth a shot.
Michael Jackson
1993 - allegations were made by family of Evan Chandler. No incriminating evidence was found and charges were never filed. Jackson settled a civil suit out of court paying the family $20+ million.
2005 - Michael Jackson was acquitted of all charges brought against him by the Santa Barbara Sheriff's Department.
source
Kobe BryantAccused of rape in 2005. Accuser settled civil suit out of court for undisclosed terms and refused to testify in criminal case.
source
Mike Tyson
Convicted of rape in 1992. No monetary payment that I am aware of.
source, interesting reading
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Being nerdy
I have spent too much time trying to network my blog so new posts show up on facebook.
I also tried to get my tweets to show up on facebook, but for some reason I can't get that app to work just yet - something to do with session test not responding. Weird. I'm slightly out of my nerd depth . . . however I did find out that Michael Jackson died as I was playing around on Twitter.
Well, then. Let's see if this works . . .
I also tried to get my tweets to show up on facebook, but for some reason I can't get that app to work just yet - something to do with session test not responding. Weird. I'm slightly out of my nerd depth . . . however I did find out that Michael Jackson died as I was playing around on Twitter.
Well, then. Let's see if this works . . .
Monday, June 15, 2009
Kobe is no Michael
So I somehow ended up in a fantasy baseball league with some yahoo Lakers fan who proceeded to say that Kobe is as good as Jordan but that no one would ever admit it no matter what the stats say. This led me to do a minor amount of research because he threw up some stupid stats. I'm pretty sure I would argue that Kobe is the best player in the league, but he will never be Jordan.
Numbers are difficult to look at in totals because Kobe started at 18 and has already played 13 seasons with the Lakers. Jordan played 12 full seasons with the Bulls (he returned for 17 games and playoffs in the 94-95 season). So Kobe can play a few more years, but averages show that in most categories he has no realistic chance of catching Jordan in averages, and Jordan reached all the awards and accolades listed in the same number of seasons that Kobe has already played.
Also keep in mind that Jordan's averages are all lower due to the two years with the Wizards.
Kobe:
Regular season MVP's - 1
Finals MVP's - 1
Defensive player of the year - 0
All defensive first team - 7
Championships - 4
PPG - 25.1
FG% - 45.5
APG - 4.6
RPG - 5.3
SPG - 1.5
TOPG - 2.9
Jordan:
Regular season MVP's - 5
Finals MVP's - 6
Defensive player of the year - 1
All defensive first team - 9
Championships - 6
PPG - 30.1
FG% - 49.7
APG - 5.3
RPG - 6.2
SPG - 2.4
TOPG - 2.7
So let's be realistic. Kobe may be good, but he is no Jordan.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Just another reason soccer is the gayest of all sports
And Stan Van Gundy wants to complain about Shaq flopping? This is more embarrassing than Paul Pierce getting taken of the court in a wheelchair in game 1 of the Finals last year.
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