My Dental Hygienist and the Tale of the Waterpik

I like to think I am an honest person. I try to be real and up front with everyone I meet, tell the truth to my wife and kids, and act with integrity at the workplace. I think I am fairly successful at this overall. Why then does the relationship I have with my dental hygienist resemble that of a teenager trying desperately to cover their tracks when talking to their parent?

I have been going to the same dental office for 5 years now, and I don't remember my hygienist ever not being there except for when she was on vacation (and was replaced by a "buxom" female replacement: more on that later). So I am left to assume that for 5 years she has been extolling the benefits of a wat erpik to me. She was so persistent that, about a year and a half ago, I finally caved. I don't mean I actually bought a waterpik, I mean I decided that I would say I bought a waterpik so she would stop telling me to. I was now telling her that this guy on the right was me every day. It is to the point where I can't remember the exact detail of my lie and I am worried that I will get found out. She has asked me on a couple of occasions if I got the countertop version or the one that hangs on the showerhead and I can't remember what I told her the last time! I wonder if she is checking her notes every time she brings it up.

So this last time that I go, she asks with a certain amount of skepticism in her voice if I am "still using that waterpik." I figure that my teeth must just not look like they have been cleaned by a waterpik daily. Of course, I do what any decent, honest adult who has been confronted with a lie does. That's right, I tell another lie to cover my previous lie. I tell her that my imaginary waterpik was broken and I just haven't gotten around to replacing it yet. Now I don't just have a waterpik, I have a broken waterpik that I need to replace. I am already trying to figure out what to say when I go back in August . . .